It’s about time for me to place my order

Yes, I would like to order 1 scheduled induction sometime after July 6th, preferably on an even day (all my kids are odd months and even days). I would like it to be pain free with no pushing. Thank you very much and I look forward to receiving my order.

Now, don’t you laugh! Just such a delivery exists - I have had one. And I would REALLY like another.

Kayla’s birth was not like that . . . at all. I have mentioned before that she was 2 weeks late and when I was admitted into the hospital to be induced, I was dilated to a 0. Yep, nothing was happening. They warned me that it would be a rough battle. We wanted to go “natural” but by the time I got to 5 cm, I was loosing it. I had tried walking, the ball, the shower, etc. and I was at my breaking point so I got an epidural. Hello, epidural! I love you! By the time she was born, I had been pushing for 2 hours, they had turned my epidural off at some point and I was feeling everything again, I was throwing up, Kayla’s heart rate was dropping and they were threatening an emergency c-section. As a last attempt they used the vacuum to help delivery her and she was born. No wonder this kid has anxiety - her entry into this world was anything but calm.

Hailey’s birth was much better. She was due November 2nd and on the night of November 3rd, I woke up at about 11 pm thinking “oh man, I have to go to the bathroom and I really don’t want to get up.” I was laying there trying to convince myself to get up and go when I felt a little gush, not enough to get the bed wet but enough to make me jump up. I honestly thought my bladder had leaked. I was mortified to say the least. Thank goodness I have a husband who sleeps through everything! I got up, went potty and changed. Then I noticed that I was damp again. Hmmm. Brain started thinking about this. You always hear of the water breaking as a big flash flood but I had a trickle. Could it be my water leaking? I woke Kurt up. Now you need to know that Kurt will do anything for anybody at anytime . . . but if it is in the middle of the night, you need to get the boy to wake up first - good luck. I shook him and said “I think my water is leaking.” His response (without even budging) “your fine, go back to sleep.” So I changed again and sat there. Sure enough, I was damp again. Tried again to wake him and got “your fine, go back to sleep.” At this point I just called L&D. That woke him up! We went in and they looked at me like I was making it up. It took a little bit but finally they did believe me. I wasn’t having any contractions but since my water had “broken” they had to keep me. They had me walk the halls and finally at some point, they started the pitocin. I knew this time I wanted an epidural and so when they said the Epidural God was down the hall and asked if I wanted mine, I said “YES!” The greatest part was that the contractions weren’t hurting yet. So I got my epidural. At about 8 am, the dr. came in and I was at about 6 cm. She broke the rest of my water since it hadn’t fully broken. I called my parents (who were with Kayla) and said that it would be a couple of hours and they could come whenever they wanted and then I told Kurt to go get some breakfast from the cafeteria. I was all alone when I felt a weird pressure. I buzzed the nurse who came in and checked me. She started running around. “Don’t cough, sneeze, laugh, or move. The baby is right there and we need to get the dr back.” Um, what? I called Kurt on his cell and told him to come back RIGHT NOW and then I called my parents and told them to hurry to the hospital (they were suppose to be there when she was born). I swear, people come out of the walls when you have a baby. All of the sudden the room was full of people. Kurt came running in after leaving his breakfast in the cafeteria and in 2 pushes, Hailey was born. My parents missed it by seconds. They came in just as Kurt was cutting the cord. What a difference from Kayla’s delivery. Hailey wants me to add that Kurt didn’t get to drink his hot chocolate and to this day, he always tells Hailey on her birthday that she owes him a hot chocolate. She is his “hot chocolate” baby.

Now, Evan’s delivery was the best. I was induced because I was overdue. We checked in and I immediately told anyone who came into my room that “yes, I do want the epidural.” When the dr. came in, I made sure he knew too but his answer was “you have to be in active labor.” When he left, I looked at Kurt and with pure panic in my face (as he retells the story) I said “active labor? But that might hurt.” He said “well, your having a baby. What did you expect?” Honestly, I expected Hailey’s delivery - the no pain method. This ‘active labor’ stuff sounded crazy. But as it worked out, the contractions weren’t hurting when they finally offered me my epidural. Awesome! So I got the epidural and then the rest of the day we relaxed. Seriously. We were prepared this time. We rented movies the night before and brought Kurt’s lap top. I slept all day and Kurt watched movies. The dr would come in and sit next to Kurt on the couch, put his feet up on a chair and ask “what are we watching now?” or “how long do you think I can hide in here before they find me?” It was great. I think I was the most checked on patient that day! Evan was the same - I was about 6 cm when they broke my water and I delivered in about 10-15 minutes. I felt that weird pressure and called the nurse. Of course, it had to be right when the nurses where changing their shifts and no one was available to come in. I kept buzzing the nurses and when one finally came in, she did the same thing. “Don’t move, breathe, sneeze, cough or laugh. The baby is right there.” So the dr came in and Evan just came out. I didn’t even push. See - pain free and no pushing. Awesome.

So that is what I am going for. A replay of Evan’s delivery.

Please!

Pretty Please!

With a cherry on top!

Memorial Weekend was Memorable

We went camping for Memorial Weekend and, as usual, we had no reservations. Gotta love just winging it. Ok, the dad's like just winging it. The moms? Not so much. I thought we had a site but as we were driving out of town I was informed that we "knew" of some sites but that we didn't "have" a site. Lovely. Turns out it worked out just fine but still, I don't like the unknown. The site was a first-come-first-serve-dry camping site and we were the only ones there Thursday night.

Friday we got up and went to Mercer Caverns in Murphy. It is 16 stories down and 16 stories back up. Luckily they stop a bit on the way up to show you different things so you get to rest.

Here we are going down into the cave:

Evan in the cave

As you come out of the cave, they had you bumper stickers.

You can see where Kurt stuck his.

At least it didn't say "wide load" or something.

Friday night we spent in the ER with Evan.

He gets really congested when the weather changes from warm to rainy and that has been the crazy weather we have been having here in CA. Warm then rainy, then warm, then rainy. A few days before we left, it was rainy again and he was congested. Friday night his cough got more persistent and hacking. During dinner he wasn't acting like he felt good and it looked like he was having a little trouble breathing (he was laying on my lap and his stomach/chest looked like his breathing was labored). When I laid with him to put him to bed, his breathing was really fast and shallow. I called Kurt in and he didn't like it either. We decided to take him to a dr. Turns out the closest ER was 45 minutes away. So at 9:15 pm we left for the ER. Arrived at 10 pm. Got in triage at 10:30 and his oxygen level was low (you know the little finger thingy they put on). Not dangerous low but lower than it should have been. We got into a room at 11 pm. Then we sat and sat and sat until 1 am when the dr. finally came in. He listened to his breathing and called a respiratory therapist. He gave him a breathing treatment. The dr. thought he sounded better but still congested so he ordered x-rays. The 1st set was cloudy and they thought he might have pneumonia. They took a 2nd set, this time with his pjs and sweatshirt opened and they came back totally clear. They think he has asthma so they gave us an inhaler and told us to follow up with his primary. We left a little after 3 and arrived back at our trailer at 4 am. We were a bit tired the next day, to say the least. We just hung out at camp and napped.

Here's Cody just hanging out.

Here is the little boy feeling better.

Sunday we went to Calaveras Big Trees State Park and walked on the trail. It is a really easy walking trail that is 1.5 miles long and takes you through some amazing trees. Absolutely beautiful!

Here is our group standing on top of a HUGE tree trunk that was cut down.

We were here exactly 2 years ago but then there was no snow. This time, a little snow.

Kayla and a massive tree.

Hailey playing in a tree.

Walking in a tree.

My man in a tree.

This was a tree recently hit by lightning. It was amazing to see the force that exploded the tree. Mother Nature is powerful!

On the way home we went past our camp site and further up the road to see what was there. We found some beautiful waterfalls.

Our journey ended when the snow overruled the road. Of course, the kids had to get out and play.

When we got back to our camp site, we walked the trail that goes along the river. Absolutely beautiful, again.

Hailey picked up a slug.

We had a great time but I am exhausted.

Now it is time to focus on getting ready for Trevor. Only 5 weeks left! Hopefully more - if he is like his siblings. They were all late and I am hoping he will be too.

Monkey love

Hailey is in love with monkeys. She has decided that she wants to use monkeys for Trevor. Anything monkey she loves and wants to get. It's cute - so our new blog background is dedicated to Hailey and her love for monkeys.

* * * * * *

On Sunday we had some crazy weather around our parts. We were at church when the worst of it hit. Lightning, thunder, rain, hail, total craziness. When we got home, this is what we found:

The kids had a blast playing in it and throwing it at the dog; who absolutely loved it. It was quite cute.

* * * * * *

33 weeks today! Woo Hoo!

Taking a tour of the hospital on Monday night. Getting excited for that. This will be the first time at this hospital. I have heard good things but the rooms for after delivery (recovery rooms??) are shared. I am a little spoiled from our other hospital where I had private rooms so I am not looking forward to sharing a room.

I need to find a new pediatrician. We switched insurance companies a year ago and picked a dr. for the kids. She has been ok but the other day I realized that she would be the one to come to the hospital to check out Trevor and all of the sudden I realized I wasn't THAT comfortable with her. I asked my OB for some recommendations. He gave me 3 but I am not sure how to go about finding out about them and deciding if I am ok with them. Any ideas on how to find new doctors?

* * * * * *

Can I just say that being a work mom is really hard sometimes? Add homeschooling to the mix and it gets really, really hard sometimes. Sigh. One day at a time.

* * * * * *

Mothers Day was ok. We had a good morning and then went to my dad's for dinner. He did a great job cooking a yummy dinner. I did good all day until my dad asked me if I wanted to go through my mom's jewelry. I went to the closet and didn't know what to do. I just stared at it and started crying. I ended up packing it all up and bringing it home. Some day I will be ready to go through it all. I am going to have to hide it though - the girls keep trying to get into it. It is like a treasure box of goodies to them =)

Nesting

My nesting is taking form as a laundry-crazy-mama. I am so on top of laundry right now it isn't even funny. Every dirty article of clothing makes me want to run and throw it in the washer but I try to control myself and wait for a full load.

I also am into putting the clutter away. Not really cleaning as in dusting, vacuuming, and that type of stuff but more just attacking the clutter. Our poor bedroom became a dumping ground and collected everything. I have been working on one section at a time and it is slowly looking like a room we might actually want to sleep in. I will have to take pics when I get it all done.

Does your husband nest? Mine does. With Evan's pregnancy it was painting. He wanted to paint every room. I managed to limit him to the family room and Evan's room. I was 8-9 months pregnant and on the floor trying to trim the moulding and after those two rooms I said no more. Not to mention that trying to pick paint colors was going to drive me insane. We had 9 color squares in our family room and 9 squares in Evan's room trying to decide what colors to use. I finally told him to just pick something - I didn't care anymore - and I do have to say that he picked great colors.

This pregnancy Kurt is into decorating the house. The poor guy was blessed/cursed with a wife who doesn't like to shop. Blessed because he doesn't have to worry about me spending money. Cursed because our house never changes because I don't like to buy anything new. So Kurt has taken this up lately and here are his goods:

A new picture for the family room:

He finally hung this picture above the fireplace. It has sat up there since Evan was 2.

(That's only 3.5 years to hang a picture!)

We got Evan's new room all set up.

Evan shares his room with Cody (who wanted to be in the picture).

The new rug he got for the kitchen.

Cody is modeling the it for you.

After several years of having princess quilts on their beds (the last few years they have complained that it was way too little kidish), we finally got the girls new bed sets. Kurt found them.

We even got them cute sheets to go with it.

I have to say that I think he is doing a great job!

Up to #3 on "The List"

Congratulations to Doug & Rebecca on the arrival of Grayson Lawrence on April 16th. He is so cute!

With the arrival of Grayson, that moves me up to #3 on "The List" of people having babies. Only Kelly and Jenna to go and then it's my turn. CRAZY!

I think the denial of having another baby is starting to wear off. This week I got the incredibly strong urge to go register and so we did on Thursday. I actually started getting excited looking at all the baby stuff. I still need to go back and finish - having 3 kids and a husband with you really slows down the process and they all started getting warn out.

Also, the nesting instinct has kicked in big time this week. I attacked the girls room the other day. Cleaned out their closet, dressers (Chrissy I have a lot of clothes for you!) and organized all their toys. Whew! Was that a lot of work but, boy, does their room look good.

Then I finally had the energy (or so I thought) to move Evan's room downstairs. I told Kurt "just get the guest bed out of that room and move Evan's bed down and I will move all the rest." Kurt had a design he was suppose to be working on but after I took 2 trips up and down the stairs, I was exhausted and he came to my rescue and moved the rest. Evan is doing great being the only one sleeping downstairs.

Now I have started accumulating baby things in Trevor's room. That sounds so weird - "Trevor's room."

The pregnancy is going good. He seems to be a quiet baby. He isn't a crazy kicker or anything. Most of the time I have to stop and think "have I felt him move lately?" and then sit and wait to make sure he is moving. Which he always does but it is more gentle and "rolley" than kicking. He is a stretcher too. He likes to just slowly stretch out a body part and then curl it back up.

Here is a shot of my 31 week belly:

I didn't realize that I hadn't taken belly shots for 7 weeks. Wow! That time slipped away. Only 9 weeks until my due date. I always go over so I am sure it will be a bit more than 9 weeks but our countdown is into the single digits!

Life is still crazy.

* Staples did in fact lose everything on our computers so I have nothing. Still trying to figure out how to fix that and get a handle on our bookkeeping - especially our accounts receivable.

* Kayla is sick again running 103 fever since Sunday. Today she started with no fever but has slowly increased all day back up to 102.6. I am taking her to the dr. tomorrow if she still has it.

* We are having a really hard time getting back into school work. This week the girls had STAR testing (which Kayla missed) so luckily we didn't have work for a few days.

* The dog is on his 4th ear and skin infection and we have another appt for him on Monday.

Exciting news:

* Kurt has signed more work! Woo hoo! We are now booked a few months out. Amazing! Such wonderful blessings!

* I applied to enroll the kids in a new charter school starting up this fall. Evan has been accepted but the girls are on a waiting list. Hopefully they will get in. I just don't think I will be able to homeschool 3 kids (1 being a kindergardener and needing undivided attention), run a business and take care of a new baby. May be just a bit too much so hopefully this school will work out.

Life is just cruisin' along. One busy day after another. I could sure use a few more hours each day to keep up on things but I guess it will all get done when it gets done.

Birthday Issues

So today is my birthday . . . and I could really care less. Isn't that bad? All week the kids and Kurt have been asking me what I want for my birthday and I honestly just don't know. Nothing.

I have been feeling blah the last few days building up to my birthday. I have never had issues with my birthday but this year I just don't know.

I think it has mostly to do with my mom not being here.

It could also have something to do with that fact that:

1) I feel fat and everything hurts. My legs, my back, my stomach, my hips. And not to mention, that I feel like I can't breathe half the time and I still have 11 long weeks til this baby is born.

2) I only have 11 short weeks before this baby is born and I have not even started thinking about getting ready. I have bought nothing. Nada, zip, zero, zilch! Luckily I have had friends dropping off baby gear but it has just been piled in the downstairs bedroom. I haven't even had the desire to go through things yet.

3) I am still trying to get caught up with missing 3 weeks of work. Plus, we took the office computers to Staples to have some clean up work done because they were really slow and, just to make life more fun, Staples computer system crashed taking my computers with it. Now I may have lost my whole accounting system. Awesome, uh?

But mostly I think it has to do with my mom. I don't get upset thinking about all those other things but as soon as I think about my mom, the tears threaten and some even spill over.

Someone called to wish me a happy birthday this morning and I didn't answer the phone. I have never done that before. I feel like a melt-down is hiding just below the surface and one "how are you doing" and I will just fall apart because apparently, today, I am not doing good. I don't know. I just wish I could sleep all day. I guess I am just having "one of those days" and it will pass.

So . . . happy birthday to me!

My Mom ~ Feb. 26, 1948 to April 6, 2011

Where to start?

3 weeks ago today my mom was at a dr. appt talking, walking and just being my mom. She didn't feel great but she was here. Who would have thought that 2 weeks later to the day that she would be gone?

None of us, that's for sure.

She has been gone for a week now and I still don't think I have fully grasped the reality of that. I can't believe it has been a week. I am sure that I am still in some sort of shock.

Yesterday we had her funeral. It was beautiful! The service was nice. I made it through giving the eulogy with only a few teary moments. The weather was amazing. We had a luncheon afterwards that was very nice - thanks to all the help we received from friends and family.

As hard and crazy as the last 3 weeks have been, I don't think they could have been any better. We had time with my mom to share and say goodbye, she didn't suffer and linger long, she had a beautiful service. Considering the situation, it was as good as it could have been. I will forever be grateful for that blessing.

Now life has to find a new normal. We have to find a way to deal with the hole that has been left in our hearts.

If you're interested, here is the eulogy I gave:

First I want to thank you all for being here today to celebrate my mom’s life and remember with fondness the way she has touched your own lives. I am certain that she is not far from us, and looks over these proceedings with great joy and tenderness. She would also want all who are here to feel great peace and comfort in the knowledge that life truly does continue beyond the grave, and that love shared between family and friends never dies. I also know that my mom would want this service to be light and cheery so I will do my best to make that happen.

After these services you are all invited back to my parents house for a luncheon. We hope you all can come as we would love a chance to speak with each one of you. There are directions in the back if you need them.

I would like to begin by reading a poem titled:

Gone From My Sight

by Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone"
Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

I know that as we said goodbye here on Earth, that in Heaven they were jumping for joy and shouting “here she comes!”

When I unexpectedly returned home to the kids last Wednesday morning after staying at my parents for 3 days to help care for mom, the kids asked “is Grammy ok?”

My immediate response was to shake my head no. But I quickly realized that was a very earthly, a very mortal answer. That in God’s plan, Grammy was more than just ok so I quickly changed my answer to “yes, Grammy is ok.” And she is. In fact, she is better than ok. My mom has returned to her Father in Heaven with honor after a wonderful Earthly mission.

We sat on the couch and explained to the kids that there was a big celebration in Heaven as her family and friends welcomed her home and congratulated her on a job well done.

I believe it was Hailey who asked “Is Max there too?” (Max is our dog that passed away 3 years ago) and we said “yes, Max is there too licking Grammy to pieces.” This seemed to help all the kids feel a little bit better. Grammy was with Max and Max was with Grammy.

We also told them that we would see Grammy again. Some day we will each have a turn to return to Heaven and we asked them “who do you think will be the first person in line to give us a hug when we get there?” They all smiled and said “Grammy!”

And if I know my mom, she will probably be close to the first, if not the first, in line for each one of you too for she loved each of you so much. To know my mom was to be loved by my mom. She loved everyone and you could feel it by just being with her.

My mom was an amazing person. She was an amazing wife and mother, and she got to live an amazing life. She was born to Arthur and Gertrude Hammond on February 26, 1948 in Long Beach, CA. Her and her brother Richard grew up on the beaches in Southern California.

In 1970 she met my dad at a party that neither wanted to attend. But fate stepped in and they both went and in 1972 they were married. They were married for 5 years before yours truly joined their family in April 1977. In 1978 they moved from Southern California to Northern California where they have made their home for the last 33 years and made some incredible friendships. In October 1982 Bryan joined and completed our family.

Over the years, my mom and dad were able to travel all over the world. They were able to go to Switzerland, to Alaska. They were able to see the Pope in Rome. They took a Mediterranean cruise where she found her favorite place of all - Portofino. She loved it there! Not only did they get to go to all these amazing places, they were able to share them with some amazing friends; many who are here today.

She taught me and my brother many things. She taught us to be honest. She taught us to be kind. She taught us to care of others. She taught us to pray. She taught us how to express our love for others. She taught us to be happy and look for the best in people and situations. She didn’t teach us these things by telling us to do them. She taught them to us by the way she lived her life; she taught us by example.

Plus, my mom was a lot of fun! I am sure you all have stories of having fun with my mom. I would like to share a few of my favorites with you today.

When my brother and I were about 7 and 12, we rented a Nintendo game where you were an airplane and you had to land on an aircraft carrier. We were getting frustrated because we couldn’t do it. Neither of us could figure it out. My mom came in and asked what we were doing and we explained the object of the game. She asked if she could try. We thought this was funny because my mom was not the most gifted with technology or video games. She took hold of the remote and started pushing all the buttons and to our amazement, she landed the plane perfectly on her first try. She handed the remote back to us and said something like “well, that wasn’t too hard” and walked out of the room. Bryan and I looked at each other and started laughing like crazy. We have laughed over this several times during the years as we thought it was so funny.

Another time we went camping and both my brother and I were able to take a friend. We had a girls tent and a boys tent. During one night a huge thunderstorm came over the camp ground. There was lightning and thunder right over us and it was pouring rain. In the girls tent, we got scared and decided to go to the van for safety. We couldn’t figure out how to get out of the tent and that led us to getting the giggles. Once we managed to get out of the tent and into the van we started telling scary stories and freaking ourselves out. We laughed so hard and had so much fun.

I also asked each of my children their favorite memory of Grammy.

Evan said playing with Grammy. He loves how she used to get on the floor and play cars with him. He has a “city carpet” and they would drive around for hours. I came home one day and they were both laughing hysterically. On the city was a lady sitting on a bench and they had come up with a game where Grammy would say “watch out for Boo-Boo Betty” and Evan would “accidentally” crash into her and they would just laugh and laugh.

Hailey said her favorite memory of Grammy was having a tea party with her. They would get my mom’s real, fine china tea set out and put juice in it. Then they would go outside and drink their tea and just sit and talk.

Kayla said her favorite memory of Grammy was spending the night one night and they were swimming after dark. They had the pool light on and were sitting on the steps in the pool just talking and hanging out together.

It is memories like these that we will keep close to our hearts and remember Grammy.

Family was very important to my mom. She loved to do Sunday dinners. We loved Sunday dinners too, not just because of the delicious meals she always prepared, but because of the love she also brought to the table.

My mom was an amazing person. I have used that word a lot today - amazing. I don’t know a better word to describe her.

My dear mom lived her life well and she continues to live inside each of us. She will forever be in our hearts. I love you mom!