August 29, 2010

Mom vs. 3 kids and the grocery store

Last night I had to run into the grocery store for a few things.

Sounds simple enough, right?

Not with 3 kids in tow. Usually my kids are good in stores but apparently last night that wasn't the case.

Somewhere between the parking lot and the doors into the store Hailey decided to throw a fit. Why? I have no idea - maybe because she's 7? Maybe because she's a girl? Maybe because, despite the fact that she is 99.9 percent of the time an easy going kid, she does have her moments and she picked that time to share it? I don't know but for whatever reason she was stomping and pouting and just being difficult through the store.

Kayla and Evan, on the other hand, were acting like circus clowns. Running, laughing, jumping, leaping, being plain crazy. I asked them several times to calm down and walk nicely with me. Apparently, they forgot to turn their ears on or something because they weren't obeying.

About 3/4ths of the way through the store I looked up and saw that Kayla was holding Evans hands behind his back as they were laughing and playing in the aisle. The split second before I could tell her to let go, Evan tripped.

You can guess what happened. Unable to put his hands out to stop himself, he face plants onto the hard, dirty grocery store floor.

THUD!

My heart stopped.

Evan screamed.

I scooped him up and thankfully there was no blood. I thought for sure his nose or teeth would have been hit but it was a miracle that his forehead took the brunt of the blow and, even then, he hardly has a mark today. Scared the hibby-gibbies out of me though.

Even after "the incident" Kayla and Evan continued to do their circus performance through the produce department. By the time I got home I was fried. After the kids had to explain to dad why mom was "done" and sent all the kids out of the kitchen, Dad talked to them and I don't think they will do that again.

Or at least I can hope they won't.

I am a dreamer . . .

. . . and by that I mean that I dream at night. Very vivid, detailed dreams EVERY. NIGHT. I guess I have a very active imagination or sub-conscience or whatever it is that causes dreams. Kurt's head hits the pillow and he just wakes up; he doesn't remember a thing between the two.

Not me. I call it my "Night Life". Everyone goes to bed when their day is over but for me it's when my Night Life begins. Kurt usually gets a kick out of my dreams. If I start telling him all the stuff and details about them, he usually says "man, all that happened last night?"

Sometimes they are obviously dreams - flying dreams or unrealistic dreams.

But most of the time they are very real and I can't tell the next morning if I am having a memory of something that actually happened, like going somewhere with a friend, or having a memory of a dream of going somewhere with a friend. I have actually had to ask people "hey, have we ever . . ." because I can't tell if the memory is real or not. It's really bad when weeks or months later something will trigger a memory and then I really can't tell if it was a dream or not. It can be VERY confusing!

Usually I have happy dreams. Sometimes I have "saving the world" dreams. I usually wake up very tired from these dreams and tell Kurt "hey, I saved the world last night, what do you expect?"

Sometimes I have very emotionally charged dreams, like:

During our dating time, Kurt and I broke up for a few months. Sometimes I dream that we break up, either in the dating scene or marriage scene, and I will wake up, either in the middle of the night if it is really bad or in the morning, feeling all those sad and depressed emotions from 12 years ago. I will be really upset and it will take me anywhere between hours and the full day to get over it. So weird! Once I woke up and was surprised to see him in bed with me. I remembered the break-up part but I couldn't remember the getting back together part. It only took me a couple of seconds to realize it had been a dream but still, they were a very confusing couple of seconds! I wake up from those dreams and just hug and kiss him and tell him how much I love him and appreciate him.

I haven't done this in a long time and I don't think it's funny when it happens but looking back I always think it's funny - Sometimes I dream that Kurt and I get in a fight. The next morning I will wake up so mad at him and sometimes I can't even remember what we were fighting about but I just know he made me mad and I try really hard to tell myself that it was really just a dream and to let it go. Well, sometimes I am not so good at that and I will be snappy with him. He has learned to recognize those mornings and will ask "oh man, what'd I do last night?" and we both laugh get a good laugh.

During the first 2 years of Kayla's life I would dream about once a week that that girl drowned. It was horrible! It was always the same events just at different locations. We would be at someone's house for a party and I would see her at the bottom of the pool and I would run as fast as I could only in the dream it would be slow motion where I couldn't get to her. It was horrible! I would always run and leap (in slow-mo) into the water and then I would wake up, never getting to her. I would be so upset when I woke up I would go sit in her room and watch her sleep. It's safe to say that I was a crazy mom with that girl around pools when she was little. She was always 2 or 3 in the dreams but I am still nervous around pools.

Sometimes I can tell what triggered them - a movie that I saw or a story that I read or heard. Sometimes they come completely out of left field and I can't explain them or understand them.

Well, I just woke up upset from a dream and I know exactly what triggered it and I feel horrible. It was a guilt induced dream. This dream really struck home and hit me straight in the heart. My sub-conscience is sending me an obvious message with this one and I deserve it.

This week was very busy for us. Evan started preschool and I started school with the girls and it was just a crazy busy, busy week and I didn't call my mom as much as I should have. In fact I can't remember the last day I talked to her. It was probably Tuesday or Wednesday and I feel really bad about that. She called and left a message today and I didn't get a chance to call her back and I went to bed thinking I should have just taken 5 minutes and stopped everything else and called her but I didn't. I didn't make it a priority and that is just plain dumb. I was, and still am, really upset with myself and that's how I went to bed.

I dreamt my mom was sick and in the hospital and I wasn't visiting her as much as I should. And that just bites! I felt the guilt from earlier (about not calling my mom) in the dream and I woke up so upset over it. In the dream the nurse was telling me all the things they were watching on her and it brought back all those memories from last December when she was in the hospital. As I sit here typing this, tears just started rolling down my cheeks because I was just a bad daughter and it just really, really bites! I feel horrible. I want to call her right now and tell her how much I love her. If only it weren't 1 am! Urgh!

At least in the dream I was trying to make it up to her and I took her Kurt's french toast (we just talked about the french toast with friends tonight so that is why that was in there). Anyone who has had Kurt's french toast knows the specialty that it is and what a treat it would be but still, it wasn't enough.

Thank you sub-consciene - message received! I vow to do better. To call my mom more. To be a better daughter. I am so sorry mom! I love you so much and I will be calling you tomorrow morning; or I guess, later this morning!

The night still possibly holds 5 hours of sleep (if I can get back to sleep).

I wonder what else my sub-conscience has in store for me! Maybe I can have a happy dream now, or a super hero dream. Those are always fun!

August 23, 2010

Mystery Eyes

A few weeks ago I was going up stairs to go to bed and as I passed the toy room, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

I looked into the toy room and this is what I saw:
It looked like 2 eyes staring at me.
I froze and tried to rationally figure out what it was.

I busted up laughing once I figured it out
(aka: once I was finally brave enough to walk over and flip the light switch on).

Can you tell?
(Oh, and please excuse the messy toy room. It hadn't been picked up in awhile. And this was before it was turned into a school room. Now it stays much cleaner).

2 little beady eyes, it's got to be a critter!
Right?
So could you tell?

Was your first guess a toy truck that had it's head lights stuck on?
You are so smart!

August 19, 2010

6 more days!!!

That's right!

Only 6 more days and then I get to put on my "teacher" hat.

Our classroom is all set up:

Our whiteboard is all hung, ready to go:
I feel:
overwhelmed and confident,
excited and worried,
happy and sad,
all at the same time.

I am sure it will be a great year. I just have to get it going and get in the routine and things will go smoothly. It will be an adjustment to our days; they will have to be way more structured then they are now but it will be good.

I can't wait!

August 18, 2010

Naughty, Naughty

I got busted - again.

I am still not even drinking 1/2 of the amount of liquids I should be.

Oops!

Why is it so hard to drink so much?
(Said in my whiniest voice possible)

Ugh!

August 14, 2010

Help! We are so confused!

Kurt always wanted a big family. Being #5 of 6, big to him means 6 (or more). Being #1 of 2, anything more than 2 is big to me. When we got married, we agreed we would aim for 4 and just see how things went.

Well, then we had our first 2 and went "whoa, wait a minute, this parenting thing is a lot more work and a lot harder than we thought. Maybe we are done with 2". And for awhile we were. Then I was the one who initiated the "baby #3" talks. And, well, you know how those went.

After Evan was born, we were both done. Completely, totally satisfied, done.

Done-diddty, done-ditty, done - Done - DONE!

Until he turned 2 and then I started thinking about another. Kurt has been firmly planted in "done" category so he was my foundation when I would get in a baby-wanting phase. At first the phases would only last a brief second - literally my thought would be "I-think-I-want-another-baby-wait-what-am-I-thinking" and it would pass that fast and I wouldn't think of it again for 6 months or so. But over the last 3 years the baby phases have been coming more frequently and lasting longer. We have talked about it A MILLION times and Kurt has remained my reality check and my strong "done" foundation.

Well, about 4 months ago I was sitting at the kitchen table paying bills after we had put the kids to bed and Kurt was sitting with me working on the computer. He looked at me and said "Hey, you know what I've been thinking?" Now usually this comment from Kurt is followed by a new business idea or a new invention where he proceeds to tell me ALL the details. So in my bill-paying-mode, I didn't even look up and said "what".

"I think we should have another baby"

. . . (processing)

. . . (processing)

Seriously, if our life was a movie this is where I would have sat with a deer-in-the-headlights-look and crickets would have been chirping in the background. No one was home. I finally managed:

"I'm sorry, what?!!!!!"

"I've been thinking and I really want to have another baby."

Well, there goes my foundation. So we talked about and we both felt like we should have another baby. WOW! So we decided we would think and pray about it. Then 2 nights later we are all sitting at the table eating dinner and the kids say "we want you to have another baby". Kurt and I just looked at each other like "whoa, that's ironic". So we discussed it at the table. We have names picked out for a boy or a girl and everything. Kurt and I continued to think about the possibility.

About 6 weeks ago we both had a very strong confirmation that we should have another baby. Okey-dokey. Without sharing to much info, our current form of prevention isn't self-reversible so I called and made an appt to go to the dr. but because I am a new patient, I had to wait 2 MONTHS! We thought, ok, this will give us plenty of time to make sure we are totally comfortable with this decision.

Over the last 2 months, the doubts have kicked in. Like: life is easy right now - we can go and do what we want, when we want and we are not tied down with diapers, wipes, bottles, sippy cups, diaper bags, nap schedules, etc. I am actually in a good phase of being able to keep the house clean, dishes done, kitchen clean, floors vacuumed, laundry caught up, etc. Do you know what a baby would do to all that? But those are all selfish reasons and we know those will pass.

It's the big ones - like: how am I supposed to work, homeschool, stay on top of the house, cook meals, and take care of a baby? How much can one person really do?

Then the even bigger one - the business. Work is hard right now. Finding work is even harder. Two weeks ago we didn't have any work again. That never happens in the summer time. And we lost one of best employees who has been with us for over 6 years because we didn't have enough work to keep him busy. Luckily Kurt signed 3 contracts last week and we have work again - for another week or two, then what? I would like the business to be more stable before we add another mouth to feed and clothe. Do you know what I mean?

AHHH, now my appt is in 2 weeks and we don't know what to do. Do we have faith and follow our promptings and hope it will all work out or do we wait until the business is more stable and we know we will continue to have work?

Help me out here people!

August 8, 2010

Still trying to get caught up

I think we were gone more of July than we were actually home. It was a very fun and crazy month and we are stilling trying to get all caught up.

First we went to WA to visit Kurt's cousins - see last post.

We got home from WA on a Tuesday evening and that Thursday-Saturday the kids attended Cousins Camp at Auntie Margo's. While the kids were away, Kurt and I decided to play. So we went to San Fran for Friday night. It was nice for just the two of us to get away!

But that only left us Monday and Tuesday to do all the laundry and get caught up from our last journey and to prepare for our next one. Oh, ya and get all caught up and organize the business for us to be gone again. Crazy days! But totally worth it!

On Wednesday we started our next journey - this time back east to Virginia - thanks to miles we have earned on a business credit card over the last 5 years ALL 5 tickets were FREE! SWEET! Wednesday went like this;
2 hours waiting in the Sac airport
2 hour flight to Seattle WA
5 hour lay over
5 hour flight to DC
2 hour drive to Richmond, VA area

Ya, that's a 16 hour day of traveling. We were TIRED! But the kids did GREAT! Oh, and what do you do with 3 kids for 5 hours in an airport? Well, this is what we did:

We rode the tram round and round and round again!

Then we found this great play area:

A lot of the time we spent in the main eating area where they have this HUGE wall of glass that looks out on the runways and you can watch planes take off and land. I have to say, the Seattle Airport was a lot of fun! 5 hours actually passed rather pleasantly.

We arrived at Jared's house at 1:30 in the morning and let's just say that we slept in a bit the next day! Plus we were still on CA time so our time was all messed up.

Thursday we had a very relaxing day and went swimming. That afternoon Jenny arrived with her kids. With all of us in the house, the count was: 5 adults, 14 kids! Yep, 19 people living in 1 house. It was a lot of fun!

Meal time was a bit crazy but all went really good. The kids all lined up on the wall and went through the line to get their food. Like this:


And it was no fun being at the end of the line!

Here is the view from above of dessert one night:
Friday we relaxed, swam and let the kids run, play and enjoy their cousins.

Saturday we had a kick ball tournament - girls against boys. Ya, the boys walloped the girls but all had fun. Oh, and just for the record, Kurt kicked a fly ball and I caught it, getting him out! (Kurt beats me at anything athletic so it was nice to get him just once!)
Then we went to Belle Isle to enjoy the river. The water was so warm! I loved it!

This was the walking bridge that you have to cross to get to the island. It was really cool!

Here is a picture of all 14 kids and 3 adults. The most of us in any one picture.

Here is Kurt and Jared testing out the new couch for it's napping qualities. It passed!
How they could nap in a house with 14 kids running around was beyond me.
I guess it's because they are men and men can sleep through anything! Here's the proof:

Girls being girls and doing hair:

Evan holding his newest cousin, Braden:

Sunday we went to Church and made cookies - mmmmmm!

Monday we went to Maymont Zoo and Gardens.

First we went to the zoo part.

Walking with a group this big . . .
you are constantly counting kids.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13
Oh, we are missing one

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15
Oh, we have an extra

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14
Perfect!

Katie and Megan sitting in a big nest. Pretty cool!

The Girls

The boys

Then we went into the Gardens. Oh, they were so pretty! I loved it! My favorite by far!

Kayla and the waterfall

Stepping pads
With 14 kids, we thought someone was bound to end up "falling in" but all made it with no problem!

The bridge

Buddies:

Oh, so romantic. A long time ago, some guy proposed to some girl here. There is a plaque but I can't remember the names or the dates but so romantic!
13 out of 14, not bad
Only missing Braden who was with Aunt Jenny
Since our flight out Wednesday morning was at 8 am and we had to be there 2 hours before the flight which meant we would have to leave Jared's house at 4 am, we decided to spend Tuesday night in D.C. near the airport. So Tuesday we went to D.C.with Jared and his family. Jenny had to start her 5 hour drive south back to North Carolina.
Jefferson monument


Washington Monument

American History Museum:
Buying produce from the grocery man
Evan and a train
The boy LOVES his trains!
Riding the pretend train:

Natural History Museum






The Capital

Air and Space Museum
All of us in front of the Native American building.
Kurt really like the water feature that went the whole length of the building.

Me and my girls.
Megan and the girls.
This is the monument they put up for the plane that crashed into the Pentagon.

And here we are back at the Seattle airport. We only had a 3 hour layover on the way home. Here is us in front of that wall of glass looking out over the runways.

The kids were amazing travelers! We were so proud of them!

We had a great time with our East Coast families and wish there wasn't so much country between us!

Thanks for a great trip!

We love all of you!