Years and years of free marriage counseling

You wouldn't think so but being a landscaper Kurt has an open window into people's marriage. And I am sure this is true with any profession that takes you into a client's house to decide how to spend money. People act different in their own homes than they do in public, obviously. The comfort level is much higher so they tend to let their true (or at least, truer) colors show.

From deciding which elements to put in a yard, to how to spend the allotted budget, and all the way through the actual construction phase, Kurt gets a front row seat on how couples work together. And we have used this to our advantage for years.

Some couples listen to each other. They compromise,  they plan, they respect each other. They communicate really well.

Some couples do not. They criticize, they don't listen, they are just down right rude to each other. And they don't communicate worth beans. Kurt does not like working with these couples. It makes the job no fun at all.

One couple just wanted to argue and get Kurt on their side. They wouldn't even listen to each other. They just kept saying to Kurt "don't you think this is better?" or "don't you think this would look nicer?" Each one just wanted to win. It was very sad. And that was just during the first meeting. We ended up not doing their job because they couldn't stop arguing on what elements they wanted in their yard and it wasn't a job we wanted to pursue so we didn't.

Kurt comes home and will say "I really like how they worked together" or "I really like how they worked things out" or "they really listened to each other". Kurt loves working with these couples. He especially likes the older couples that are so sweet to each other. He says "I hope we are just like them when we get older."

Or he will come home and say "man, they were just mean to each other" or "that was really awkward" or "I don't even want to do their job." This year we had a job for a couple like this. It was horrible the whole time. The couple didn't communicate at all with each other so the husband would tell us to do something a particular way and then the wife would come home and freak out about it and then we would get a nasty phone call about how horrible we were. It was brutal. Kurt finally told them that both spouses have to be present when making decisions so there would be no miscommunication. It got a little better but they still were no fun to work with. They even overpaid us by thousands of dollars because they didn't let each other know that one had already paid for something. Lucky for them, we are honest and gave it back but it would just be interesting to know if they ever would have figured it out.

So that is how we have gotten years of free marriage counseling. Kurt has seen the good, the bad and the ugly. We aim for the good.

And that is why our Christmas tree is on our front porch

Poor Evan. We just can't figure this boy out. During the winter he gets so congested and sounds horrible but he isn't sick. I remember taking him to preschool and telling his teacher that he wasn't sick, he just sounded horrible. He runs around just fine and doesn't have a runny nose at all. It is just when he coughs he sounds like he has pneumonia or something. It's really weird and frustrating. 

Well, this spring and summer he got like that. I kept taking him to the doctor trying to figure out what the deal was. The dr. thought it was allergies and put him on over the counter allergy meds. Those didn't work so we switched meds and added a nasal spray to try to help. It did seem like it helped but not totally. 

So then the "investigator" part of the mom brain kicked in and out of the blue I started thinking that maybe he was allergic to dogs. He had been sleeping downstairs in the guest room since Trevor was born and Cody's crate is in there. Maybe sleeping right next to the crate was causing a problem. So we moved him up to Trevor's room and within a week he cleared up. Hmmmm - interesting. Could be the dog, could be the medicine finally kicked in. We weren't totally sure what happened.

Then a few weeks ago we went to some friends house for an open house cookie exchange and within about 30-45 minutes he started sneezing and sneezing and sneezing. He was a mess so we left quickly and brought him home and put him in the shower. Turns out they have dogs. Very interesting. So now we think he is allergic to dogs. We don't have any medical tests to confirm, just going on observation.

Well he seemed to be doing just fine and then he got all congested again. What changed? The only thing we could figure out was that we brought the Christmas tree in. It has been in our house for about 2 weeks and he has been a mess the whole time. Now we also got a small cold in our house so it was hard to tell if it was all cold or still some allergy mess he had but everyone else got over the cold quickly so we think he is still having an allergy to the tree. And remember when I was pregnant with Trevor and we went camping and spent the night in the ER because Evan was having trouble breathing? We were camping in pines. Interesting. So, to be safe and to see what happens, we moved our tree to the front porch: 

 And now, I'm sure, all our neighbors think we are crazy. But he does seem to be getting better. It has only been 2 days so it could take some time to get all the "tree smell" out of the house but his coughs are drier and his nose doesn't seem so congested.

I don't know. Being a parent is hard. Trying to figure out what is going on and what is causing the issues and what to do to fix them is exhausting. And I know this is nothing compared to what some parents have to deal with. I feel for them! I think I am going to have him tested for allergies. Trevor has a check up this week so I am going to take Evan with me and see if I can't get a lab slip to have him tested. It would just be nice to know what triggers him so that we can avoid it or prepare for it.

And so that is why our Christmas tree is on our front porch.

Our {not so skinny} Christmas tree + 3

Yesterday we went to get our Christmas tree. Evan was going to have a conniption fit if we didn't get it this weekend. Holy moly the boy was obsessed with getting our tree and putting up stockings. I guess saying he is a little excited for Christmas this year is an understatement. So we were good parents and got the tree.

Kurt wanted a tall, skinny tree. He refused to get anything else. The kids wanted a "fluffy" tree and refused to get anything else. You can see who won:

The kids got their "fluffy" tree. It is a lot bigger than we planned on but oh well, they are happy. So today we got the lights on it. Kurt wants to do a ribbon tree this year. Since I have no idea how to do that, we are going to have April and Rick over for dinner sometime and she is going to help us. Hopefully we will actually get that accomplished before Christmas.  ;-)

The last few years our favorite place to get a tree was at WiseBuys because they were $10. Yes, $10. It was awesome. And since we can't keep a tree alive for a week, $10 is a reasonable investment for something that we are going to kill right off the bat. Unfortunately they went out of business this year. Now where to get a tree? We decided to just go to a local nursery that Kurt buys plants at because we get a contractors discount so it wasn't our $10 tree but at least we got a discount.

And while we were there, we found a few other trees we wanted to.

Here is our lemon tree:

Our mandarin tree:

And our grapefruit tree:

Hmm, didn't plan on those trees either but we are very excited for them. We came home and made fresh squeezed lemonade from our new lemons and it was delish!

We added these trees to our apple tree and our blueberry plants. We seem to have a fruit garden going on. Can't wait for all the yummy goodies!

X - Y - Z

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend at a soccer game and learned a little "secret code." Just thought I would pass it along so you can be as up on the lingo as I now am.

So we were talking (and I don't remember what we were talking about so this conversation is totally made up):

Friend: And then we went there.
Me: Sounds like fun.
Friend: It was so fun. We did this and we did that. Oh, X-Y-Z. And then we went there and then we did that. We just had a really great time.
Me: Wait. What? X-Y-Z. What does that mean?
Friend:(whispering) X-Y-Z  is code for "examine your zipper."
Me: (Blank stare trying to figure out how that played into the conversation.) Oh, my zipper.  Got it! Thanks!

And now friends, you are as cool as me and will now know when someone is trying to give you a secret message that your zipper is down. =~)